Please someone create a skype handshake social rite

I hate this:


…skype calling
…connection established

A: hello?

A: hello, do you hear me?
——–
B: hello?

I can hear you but do you hear me?
———
A: hello?
I can hear you but do you hear me?
——
A: please turn on your microphone!
….
B: please turn off your speakers!
….
etc. etc.

A: uh, already 4pm, how fast an hour can go by. I have to close the telco. cya.
B: ah, now it works.
repeat until oblivion….

Aeons of human time are spent establishing a skype connection these days. Probably more time than spent on the toilet.

we need a kind of social poem, , dirty limerick or other ritus which socially works to establish a skype audio telco connection.
something like:

A: knock knock?
B: who’s there?
A: your skype connection!
B: speakers turned off, microphone on, lets go, my prom!

or:
“I once knew a man called Enis,
who couldn’t tell speakers from a …”
(Crusty the Clown’s short Limerick adapted)

but with business people its always tricky to establish proper rites. Any ideas?